Since I will never write a book

Another blog. Does the world really need another blog or blogger? Not a trick question; answer, a resounding NO. Yet here I am. I have realized about myself that I am a classic underachiever. With that understanding comes the knowing that I will never write a book. Yet another downgrade of many great ideas I have. What I do not have is the follow thru.

Who has the time? I mean the hours I spend on social networking sites, perusing the list of a guy name Craig, and general malaise, I mean c'mon. Im lucky to squeeze in a shower and a quick brush of the teeth. No one has time for agents, reading and apperances on Oprah. No no, I will sit here in the comfort of my office/spare bedroom/storage room thank you very much.

To be honest Im lonely. Not just temporarily but as far as I can tell indefinitely. I just cannot seem to relate to reality and other people anymore. At least this way I have someone to talk to and do not have to deal with the fact or admit that I am lonely. Well not talk to per se but speak my mind without the annoyance of someone interrupting me with how they can relate or interjecting their thoughts into mine and making them their own. No listening to another persons thoughts, which I also refer to as waiting for them to finish so I can speak. No pretending to care if I may be right or wrong, no worrying if my facts or grammar will be corrected or subject matter googled. Just blissful writing. Kind of like what I imagine the secret world of the teenage girls diary is like. My secret friend that always thinks Im the prettiest girl in school, and envies me because Im better than she is. You know a true friend.   

I was not always this way mind you. Lonely I mean. Opinionated, yes. Stubborn, yes. Ignorant to most anything going on outside of my personal bubble, yes but lonely. No.

There are plenty of people in my life do not misunderstand. I am a part time freelance makeup artist, and attending cosmetology school part time so there are people all around me. What Im missing is that one person we all need in our lives that just gets us. That person that is loyal, nonjudgemental, and who genuinely likes you  even when you wish they would not. They reeeeeally get you. Even sometimes when you do not get yourself. Yeah I do not have that. Im only half whining about it. I suppose there are worse things I could be lacking in life but boy do I miss having that. I guess writing this blog is an easy way to communicate to that one person even though they are not in my life, and hey...if that person ever shows up. Well I will have everything documented for them right here in My Lonely Life.